Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
An old man, a boy and a sky
An old man, a boy and a sky…
The old man and the boy were resting on the soft grass and looking up. It was a cool evening, crickets singing, bugs buzzing, and from time to time a firefly was passing by. There was no light for miles and the Milky Way was contrasting so beautifully as you can never observe it in the big city with all these lights. Thousands of stars were blinking and shimmering above them, and the little Joro asked:
- Grandpa Mitko, I wonder – what’s up there?
- Stars… what else? – said the old man laughing, but then continued seriously – There above us is everything! There is the future of man...
- The future of man?
- Yes… the future… You didn’t think people will always live only on Earth, did you? The stars are calling us, and we are just too curious to stay in our warm homes and not answer their call. There was this saying…hmmm… something like – “when the child is grown, it leaves the cradle”. For mankind Earth is this cradle!
Something crinkled close to where they were and the boy boggled but then continued:
- And we will travel with spaceships, right? Like in Star Trek?
- I suppose so, but this will be in many years, right now no one invests enough money in science and such ships can’t be made soon…
- Grandpa, I wonder if somewhere up there some other grandpa and his grandson are looking at us?
-Haha – smiled the gray man – I’m sure they watch us from many places! I believe it’s teeming with life up there and we are not alone… hmm… It’s getting late already… come on, suck my dick a bit my boy!
Several minutes passed, the grandpa ejaculated with whimper.
-Let’s go, you will freeze – the grass is getting dewy...
-Grandpa Mitko, can’t we stay for five more minutes –sobbed the boy.
-But of course we can!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Brown Dictionary - part 1
1. BROWN ART
The unfortunate occurrance of when, while being hung over or extremely drunk, one is forced to stand up from the toilet in which he was shitting to barf, spraying diarrhea all over the wall.
"John's mom wondered what the hell happened in the bathroom after seeing his massive brown art on the wall."
2. BROWN ARROWS
The parallel brown lines left on the porcelain of a toilet bowl after a flush. These resemble the smoke lines left by the precision aerobatic team the Red Arrows of the British Royal Air Force.
"I don't know who was last in that toilet but it looks like the Brown Arrows sure put on a good display..."
3. BROWN FOX
When you tell a woman you want to kiss her all over and crap on her chest!
"Baby, I just want to take you home and give you a brown fox."
4. BROWN FOG
The imaginary aura of odor around someone when they smell like ass.
"God damn it, Randon is carrying the brown fog again! That must be 35 hobo power!"
5. BROWN A BOMB
When someone is taking a shit and goes extreme meaures not to touch the toilet in a public place.You put your feet on the wall, so that you are completely hanging over the toilet, at least by a foot, and then the shit sets a blast of large proportions.
"Oh, my God, the back splash went straight up my anus!!!!"
"Shouldn't have done that Brown A- Bomb"
6. BROWN ACROBAT
Basically when a person does a handstand and then proceeds to do a shit everywhere so it covers part of his body. This occasionally pops up in grot mags, but is quite rare. If one finds some, then it is his job to show it to all his mates as soon as possible. Warning, don't show your parents, this has been known to lead to some strange looks and even worse ideas, you don't want your parents doing the brown acrobat in the next room do you?
Bob: Wow, did u see that porn last night dude?
Andy: Yeh, dude that chick pulled off a brown acrobat, it was a great wank to start off the new year
Bob: Yeh, it really was
7. BROWN DEMON
Type of shit which you need to fight with so it come out, or a general term for being constipated, or in pain due to shitting.
"I just fought the evil Brown Demon in the men's room, and won"
8. BROWN NUTS
When a man's explosive diarhea splashes onto his ballsack.
"I should've known not to push so hard with diarhea... now I've got brown nuts"
9. BROWN BEAR (verb)
When you take a shit on someone's chest and then give them a big bear hug, mushing it all around between you two.
"I'm going to brown bear that bitch tonight."
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Just Ballet
Bow to these amazing figures!
In this rushy World, we more and more forget of the spiritual side of life...
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
The truth about centaurs...
Disappointing but true, centaurs are not some magical
creatures surrounded by fairy mist…
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
The Boy who passed from the back…
Vova for his 11 years of life dealt with it, as many adults wouldn’t succeed. Of course, his not so flourishing fate had contributed to his early maturation. He did not remember his mother, his father – perhaps…
Based on stories told by the other artists, he has created a vague idea of his family. His father was the founder of the circus. He was a Soviet scientist who has escaped from The Soviet Union to come here in Brazil. Everyone was telling the little Vova, how bright his father’s mind was, and how he dealt with quantum mechanics or something like that. That stimulated the kid to buy tons of literature as soon as he could read haltingly – as everyone would guess he did not understand a thing and kept the books in his trailer just for prestige and the collector’s edition of “A Brief History of Time” always lied around his bed. The boy had many speculations on why and how Vova Senior disappeared - from captured by KGB agents to return him to USSR, to alien abduction. In fact it was known that one morning the father just did not get out the truck, their home, and his four year old son was found crying on the floor. Interesting fact is that his mother had disappeared in similar way, but long time ago – just days after Vova’s birth. She wasn’t a colorful person, but a gorgeous dancer who captured the heart of a physicist and persuaded him to invest all his money in a travelling circus.
The years were passing, and the lonely child was not alone, because 80 people trained him in the art of circus. The boy became a contortionist. He performed different dangerous tricks, and his favorite was to impress the audience with the flexibility of his body. Without anything significant, except maybe the incident with elephant shit, gathered by him and thrown at cars driving in the opposite direction of the travelling circus line, the kid had a boring daily life… up until now!
Vova was wobbling alone in his trailer on the way to the next city. Because he was bored to the death, he decided to deal with his favorite occupation – to insert various objects in his anus. After utilizing all interesting things he had around he tossed them aside and got stuck again. Then he got light up by an innovative idea - to see how deep he can stick his arm up his butt. He started immediately and was pleasantly surprised to find out how easy it was to get his arm inside up to the shoulder. Smiling he slipped in the other arm with ease and started clapping inside the intestine.
- The head! I can stick the head! – He tweeted in joy – I’m sticking it!
When his head was in, without thinking twice he got himself in his ass up to his waist... Then something unusual occurred. Some mighty force sucked him inside. He was feeling like he is burning in some fire vortex and thousands whirlpools are raging around him. In a blink of an eye it was over and he looked around. The stuff he was able to see was curved in some grotesque, which interfered with his perceptions for distance and direction. Grey waves resembling those left by a stone plopping in a calm lake were spreading chaotically around him, merging, disappearing and exploding in tiny sparks. Vova started to scream. The cries didn’t stop for hours, maybe days, until an obscure stain started to materialize in front of him. At first it was blurry but gradually took shape of a man.
- Don’t be frightened – the man said – you are not crazy. It’s just that our senses are not meant for the physical laws of this world. Everything is slightly different here...
In front of the wide-mouthed kid was standing a tall, blond man in his middle age, who unlike everything else was not pulsing and blending in the rest of the landscape.
- F-f-f-father? – the boy instantly recognized the man he was seeing on the pictures for so many years.
- Volodya, my boy! – yelled the excited man – My Lord, Vova, how grown up you are! I should have figured – the time here is passing differently! I taught I was here only for a week...
They stood there in a warm hug until the boy asked:
- Dad, where are we? What is happening to us?
- Son, have you ever heard about wormholes?
- Hmm, wormholes like Einstein-Rosen Bridge? Remotely…
- Yes, this is what I talk about – tunnels between worlds. You did not waste your time! – said the father delighted by the knowledge of his child. – First the possibility for existence of space-time holes is predicted by The Theory of Relativity of Albert Einstein. This theory describes gravity forces from the prospective of time curvature. The famous physicist and mathematician Georg Friedrich Bernhard Riemann said that space can have more than three dimensions and mathematically proves that existence of variety of worlds is possible. It is believed that there are time tunnels connecting parallel worlds.
- But, father… uh… I got here through my ass.
- I know – the father laughed uneasy – for some reason unknown your anus attracted me ever since you were born. For four years I stuffed various tiny objects inside until finally I plucked up courage to go in there myself. And this is how I got to this place.
- Actually my anus is a portal to a wormhole – a gate to another dimension, another world? So, how is this possible?
- It is still early for answers… I will need time for calculations... Maybe it is a result of the project I was working on in Russia – a tachyon generator... Briefly it is a generator for particles that travel faster than light. I’ve quit my job, because naturally the country wanted a new weapon instead of something constructive. I must have been exposed to the particles, which had influenced you... I can’t be sure...
- What about mamma?
- Oh, yes... I guess she also took a peek inside you...
For days they talked about all moments they’ve missed... for everything... when Vova continued:
- Dad, do you want us to look for mom?
The boy opened his butt and his anus was gaping. Without hesitation his father dived into the darkness and disappeared.
Now Vova was standing alone. Smiling he was thinking for the incredible worlds waiting for him on the bottom of his rectum... that he will be brave enough to go where no human has set foot. He took a moment to look at the pulsing haze of this dimension and sank into his ass…
Based on stories told by the other artists, he has created a vague idea of his family. His father was the founder of the circus. He was a Soviet scientist who has escaped from The Soviet Union to come here in Brazil. Everyone was telling the little Vova, how bright his father’s mind was, and how he dealt with quantum mechanics or something like that. That stimulated the kid to buy tons of literature as soon as he could read haltingly – as everyone would guess he did not understand a thing and kept the books in his trailer just for prestige and the collector’s edition of “A Brief History of Time” always lied around his bed. The boy had many speculations on why and how Vova Senior disappeared - from captured by KGB agents to return him to USSR, to alien abduction. In fact it was known that one morning the father just did not get out the truck, their home, and his four year old son was found crying on the floor. Interesting fact is that his mother had disappeared in similar way, but long time ago – just days after Vova’s birth. She wasn’t a colorful person, but a gorgeous dancer who captured the heart of a physicist and persuaded him to invest all his money in a travelling circus.
The years were passing, and the lonely child was not alone, because 80 people trained him in the art of circus. The boy became a contortionist. He performed different dangerous tricks, and his favorite was to impress the audience with the flexibility of his body. Without anything significant, except maybe the incident with elephant shit, gathered by him and thrown at cars driving in the opposite direction of the travelling circus line, the kid had a boring daily life… up until now!
Vova was wobbling alone in his trailer on the way to the next city. Because he was bored to the death, he decided to deal with his favorite occupation – to insert various objects in his anus. After utilizing all interesting things he had around he tossed them aside and got stuck again. Then he got light up by an innovative idea - to see how deep he can stick his arm up his butt. He started immediately and was pleasantly surprised to find out how easy it was to get his arm inside up to the shoulder. Smiling he slipped in the other arm with ease and started clapping inside the intestine.
- The head! I can stick the head! – He tweeted in joy – I’m sticking it!
When his head was in, without thinking twice he got himself in his ass up to his waist... Then something unusual occurred. Some mighty force sucked him inside. He was feeling like he is burning in some fire vortex and thousands whirlpools are raging around him. In a blink of an eye it was over and he looked around. The stuff he was able to see was curved in some grotesque, which interfered with his perceptions for distance and direction. Grey waves resembling those left by a stone plopping in a calm lake were spreading chaotically around him, merging, disappearing and exploding in tiny sparks. Vova started to scream. The cries didn’t stop for hours, maybe days, until an obscure stain started to materialize in front of him. At first it was blurry but gradually took shape of a man.
- Don’t be frightened – the man said – you are not crazy. It’s just that our senses are not meant for the physical laws of this world. Everything is slightly different here...
In front of the wide-mouthed kid was standing a tall, blond man in his middle age, who unlike everything else was not pulsing and blending in the rest of the landscape.
- F-f-f-father? – the boy instantly recognized the man he was seeing on the pictures for so many years.
- Volodya, my boy! – yelled the excited man – My Lord, Vova, how grown up you are! I should have figured – the time here is passing differently! I taught I was here only for a week...
They stood there in a warm hug until the boy asked:
- Dad, where are we? What is happening to us?
- Son, have you ever heard about wormholes?
- Hmm, wormholes like Einstein-Rosen Bridge? Remotely…
- Yes, this is what I talk about – tunnels between worlds. You did not waste your time! – said the father delighted by the knowledge of his child. – First the possibility for existence of space-time holes is predicted by The Theory of Relativity of Albert Einstein. This theory describes gravity forces from the prospective of time curvature. The famous physicist and mathematician Georg Friedrich Bernhard Riemann said that space can have more than three dimensions and mathematically proves that existence of variety of worlds is possible. It is believed that there are time tunnels connecting parallel worlds.
- But, father… uh… I got here through my ass.
- I know – the father laughed uneasy – for some reason unknown your anus attracted me ever since you were born. For four years I stuffed various tiny objects inside until finally I plucked up courage to go in there myself. And this is how I got to this place.
- Actually my anus is a portal to a wormhole – a gate to another dimension, another world? So, how is this possible?
- It is still early for answers… I will need time for calculations... Maybe it is a result of the project I was working on in Russia – a tachyon generator... Briefly it is a generator for particles that travel faster than light. I’ve quit my job, because naturally the country wanted a new weapon instead of something constructive. I must have been exposed to the particles, which had influenced you... I can’t be sure...
- What about mamma?
- Oh, yes... I guess she also took a peek inside you...
For days they talked about all moments they’ve missed... for everything... when Vova continued:
- Dad, do you want us to look for mom?
The boy opened his butt and his anus was gaping. Without hesitation his father dived into the darkness and disappeared.
Now Vova was standing alone. Smiling he was thinking for the incredible worlds waiting for him on the bottom of his rectum... that he will be brave enough to go where no human has set foot. He took a moment to look at the pulsing haze of this dimension and sank into his ass…
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